I consider myself spiritual, or even godly, because I submit to so many rules

The next time I to convince you that you morally owe 50% of your wealth to the poor, just laugh at me and tell me that you died with Christ and will no longer submit to my pagan wisdom.

Liberals like Brooks

I never can critique or criticize myself without first blaming Bush or the Republicans.

Nobody Photoshopped Trig Palin in an offensive way or in bad taste. Nobody.

I can't win on facts and evidence. I need to propagate racism, sexism and any other "ism" you can name, Hitler and The Nazis would have ruled the world forever had today's Liberals and Progressives been around in the U.S. and Germany.

Generally, I'm a Marxist who prefers violent revolution, but I'll settle for the 2008 election results

I'm trying to do is pass as many laws as possible, in order to impose as quickly as possible, a coercive system of government that will end individual freedom and create the infrastructure of a socialist system.

I'm an egotistical moron

I'm invincibly ignorant.

I never condemn real racism

Racism is so nebulous.

Trig has divided America

I see genetic perfection as an entitlement.

I hate the idea of freedom and liberty

That is why bit by bit the Constitution has been torn up. I have supported and promoted gun control to ban the right to self defense and to prevent the people from overthrowing my reign and by suppressing freedom of speech and freedom of the press.

I was actively rooting for us to loose in Iraq because if we won, then it would make Bush look good

My only core principle is the aggregation of power, no matter how I get it.

I try to sell snake oil cures

The more conservatives present the truth, the more entrenched I become in my lies.

I should buy a cavemen military type a beer

Because Republicans do all the fighting for me and I suck the tit of hard working conservatives.

I go beserk!

I'm outraged and freaking out over the new ad by the Our Country Deserves Better Committee.

I do not really believe there is a war on

My professors and journalists have not educated me about the burqa. I want to believe that everyone is like me.

I'm dedicated to revising history

The book 1984 was a cautionary tale for Conservatives, but a road map for me.

I'm not just wrong on all the issues

Perhaps if I was merely wrong on all the issues, it would be easier to forgive me. But it's my arrogance and self-righteous attitude that puts me beyond the pale.

When was the last time I did something productive and good and decent for America?

I'm easily offended by anything decent and good in this country, and I celebrate the filthy parts of society.

Jesus tells conservatives to put me on the defensive

In song.

I'm afraid of Sarah Palin

I resort to name calling and insults because I have no brain power to win with logic.

Watch out!

I'm so dangerously liberal, the French arrested me!