Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I'm terrified of finding out Limbaugh makes more sense than I do

Not listening to Rush Limbaugh's show makes me a lowdown, yellow-bellied, lily-livered intellectual coward.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

I hate freedom, not war

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I prefer evil

I don't acknowledge a difference between good end evil because I recognize doing so is evil and not good, which makes me invariably favor evil over good.

Or something.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I love cop kllers

OK, I've said it. No more nuance. I love them.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Universal healthcare solves more than one problem

I'm planning on exterminating useless old people by rationing or withholding health care to the elderly.

Friday, March 20, 2009

About me and the Islamists

Islamsts and I disagree about homosexuality, but beyond that, our goal for America is the same: the destruction of our way of life.

Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot agree

Third party political groups and independents are actually militia members (political terrorists). That's why I have to take away freedom of speech and religion and the right to bear arms.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The dictionary is written by some liberal person

Sure enough was, that was me injecting bias into the dictionary.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Don't hold mass murders accountable, it's my fault

I drive people to go on killing sprees.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Now that I have power, I can destroy everything! W00t!

Now that I've seized power through corrupt interference with the political process, I'll never give it up. It is entirely possible that we will never see the end of my current Marxist regime.

I'll continue to destroy our country because — as a committed Marxist — it's my duty to do so.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

How to make a communist socialist government

What do you get when you have 30 years of educating children using teachers that one have one view point: left? What do you get when those same children graduate with such poor reading skills that they hate to read or watch the news? What do you get when you encourage those same adults to spend all their free time playing video games, drinking or watching TV, but not the news? What do you get when those same adults make more money on welfare or unemployment?

Me!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Duh, I'm an America-Hater!

I mean, duh!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Is this too emasculating?

Monday, March 9, 2009

Hey you wth the hedge shears!

I've slickly packaged myself as a loving, tolerant, do-gooder seeking only to make your life easier and more secure, but in realty I want to control how you groom your lawn and whether or not you can fly a US flag.